Preparing to Move

When faced with the problem of having to move, mom immediately refused. She did not want to leave her home, but with no family left living in the city I couldn't leave her there alone, and I couldn't live in the city any longer. She'd have to choose between moving to the city I lived in, or moving into a nursing home. She reluctantly chose to move to my city. Besides myself, there were other family members here, like her older sister (and they were very close), and grandchildren, and great grandchildren. At least she would have other company on a regular basis besides me, or the PSWs.

We began preparing by cleaning out some of the rooms that were no longer in use in her home - my dad's den, the bar area, the spare bedroom where I slept was partially emptied. Most of what was in those rooms went into the trash, except for a few things we could donate to charity groups.

I began packing up kitchen things she didn't really use - some for charity, and some for her new apartment, which we had yet to find. The "keep" boxes went into the empty den. When my husband arrived a few days later to pick me up, he took the charity boxes and delivered them.

I left to go home with much trepidation, not really wanting to leave her on her own.

Within three days we had found a very nice one bedroom apartment, a 20 minute walk from my home. We paid the deposits ourselves and rented it for her, the one year lease to take effect at the beginning of the next month - only two and a half weeks away.  We headed back to the city and forced mom to pack a bag and come visit for a few days. My aunt took mom to her home for a couple of days so we could go back and continue the packing process without mom. That gave us an opportunity to toss the junk stuff without her, and pack the things we knew she loved and needed to keep, at least for now.

We managed to keep her for almost a week, before we took her back, and I went back and stayed the final time with her in her home.

The day the move was planned, we were all in the city - everyone who could spare a few hours to help us pack up the rented truck, including my aunt. She took my mom and headed back to her place with mom, so mom actually wouldn't be there while we moved her things into the truck.

This was one of the most difficult parts - to move mom when she didn't want to, and to try and do it without causing her much stress, or at least as little stress as possible.

That night, by the time we had unpacked the truck we were tired - all the boxes and furniture were just sitting in the middle of the apartment, and it was after 1:00am.

Mom stayed with my aunt for 3 days while I arranged furniture, unpacked boxes, sorted her clothes and made her apartment look inviting...like a home. I liked it. Neat, and clean with hardwood floors, it even had it's own separate dining room for her set.

When it was ready, my aunt and I took mom to her "new place". She wasn't happy. She said it was nice, but it wasn't home. And of course, it really wasn't. But it had spacious rooms, and a balcony, and it  was easy for me to keep clean.