Early Activities for Getting Settled

During the first couple of weeks living in the nursing home, the days went on in a similar fashion. Sometimes we'd walk outside to the patio, and mom would have a smoke. Residents aren't allowed to keep smokes in their rooms (many are on oxygen...one forgetful flick of a lighter and boom!), but the staff have a small locked drawer where you can leave a labelled pack for the resident. Residents of sound mind can go outside on their own, but residents like mom weren't allowed out by themselves. So at least once a day, maybe twice, we'd take mom outside and let her have a smoke from her pack.

Sometimes, I'd take mom for a walk along the sidewalk of the neighbourhood. Since we lived only two blocks away, I'd sometimes take her as far as our house, and back. Or up to the corner variety (less than a full block away) and we'd buy chocolate bars or magazines.

Sometimes we'd just sit in, and she'd get her nails done, or we'd go down to lobby and sit in the chairs and watch the world go by; we'd chat about family, or events that mom would suddenly remember, or we'd sit quietly until she wanted to do something else.

Those first few weeks were difficult when I wasn't with her - the phone calls were incessant and I was constantly in tears when I was home. Mostly because the phone calls never stopped. Some were "chatty", some were angry, some were complaining...but...it...never...stopped.

It got so I couldn't spend time in my own home because if I was there, the phone would be ringing. I was afraid not to answer it too, because what if something had happened? What if she was sick; what if she fell; what if....

By the end of the first month, mom was settling in a little. Not completely, but it was beginning to ease up and the phone calls tapered off to one, or maybe two a day.  How many times a day do you need to call someone if that same person is with you for most of every day?

Then came the day when the family services co-ordinator called.